"That Black Girl" and Single in the City

So lets just start with me. I'm 29,black, educated, funny(ok sarcastic),cute(I'm mean that is what my parents have told me) and yes you guessed it SINGLE!!

Everyone always talks about single women and living in San Francisco and how they have slim picking. Well if single women in the city have slim picking,than black single women in the city are dang near almost out of luck!!

I've lived in this great city for 10 years and out those 10years I've dated many, many, many men.Let me clarify that dating does not mean having sexual encounters.I've had a great time dating these many,many,many men. They were great and mostly all non-black, let me say this I love all people and every living creature God has created is beautiful,but I have a weakness for beautiful chocolate men. I was never bothered by the fact that most of the men I had dated were not black,that is until I spent a year in Atlanta and my frequent trips to "Chocolate City" (DC), I suppose that it spoiled me.

I moved here at 19 a free spirited black girl,that didn't want to be "that black girl" that attended "that black girl" college and at "that black girl" college met her future husband at "that black boy" college,nor did I want to be in "that black girl" sorority. I didn't want any of this because I had spent 12 years(dating back to my days in etiquette school which was ran by one of "those black girl's" sororities) trying to be so different from it all and in San Francisco I was able to do just that.

I loved the many,many,many men I dated, they weren't all great but each served their purpose for me to learn about myself. I dated a Muslim, a Filipino, a Viking, a German, several Italians,many Latinos, had a run in(kissing session) with a Greek,got unlucky with an Irish, my english corrected by a Brit, a few arguments with a Russian Jew, a rendezvous with a Chinese and I could go on forever,but you see where I'm going with this,right? It was all fun and I enjoyed most of it but then at 23 I decided I wanted to attend college.

Finally after spending several years at city college ruining my 3.5 high school g.p.a. I wasn't sure if I was ready to attend "that black girl" college,so I choose to attend the college next to "that black girl" college. Though it has put me in the hole 35,000 dollars,that one year I did attend that college,more than enough made up for it in life experience and the friendships that were made.

It was then that my love for black men was solidified. It was there that I did indeed meet my IBM(Ideal Black Man) who did in fact graduate from "that black boy" college and he was everything my family would have liked him to be. I suppose had I attended "that black girl" college as planned after high school graduation, things would have turned out differently but I can't say they turned out wrong or bad in any way. After spending a year in Atlanta and few trips to "Chocolate City" one can understand my disappointment upon returning to The City by the Bay. I return to San Francisco after seeing nothing but black people and beautiful black people at that,only to find very few black people and not so beautiful at that(yes I know it sounds a bet sadiddy). I started to think back to when I first moved here and how I didn't notice how very few black people there are in San Francisco. But then maybe it didn't occur to me because my free-spirit and open-mind never saw people as colors but just as people. Somehow living in Atlanta and visiting DC,had made me want to be around people that looked like me, didn't necessarily think like myself but understood where I was coming from.

I wrote this introduction so all of you who decide to check out my blog will understand where I am coming from. I'm the black girl that didn't want to be "that black girl" but somehow ended up becoming "that black girl" and I don't feel bad about it nor am I ashamed of being "that black girl". The issue I had with "that black girl" was that she didn't know who she was outside of being "that black girl" she allowed her family to dictate her life decisions,but what I love about "that black girl" is that she loves who she Is whether some think she is "the whitest black girl".She embraces her blackness with grace, her beauty isn't necessarily her physique like so many would like to think it is,but it's the way she carries herself when other talk down to her, how she speaks when she has something to share,but her true beauty is that she never saw herself as "that black girl" to her she is just a nubian beauty making the best out of everything God has given her and loving her life what it is now,not what it once was.

So when you read my blog entries keep in mind all that has been written about "that black girl" and remember the confusion you may have felt while reading my initial blog entry that is full of contradictions.

Enjoy & Please do come back!!
"That Black Girl"