Here in San Francisco we don't get great weather until I'd say like August,but it appears the tooth fairy came early this year, you know during the time its actually supposed to, umm....Spring. And of course that is when the ladies wear very little clothing but then regret it around 4pm when those infamous San Francisco clouds start rolling in. I always wonder why they(alright I) do that, wear cute outfits on those nice sunny days. Yes I do like to dress really girlie so that is a valid reason but thats just surface, underneath is the real reason which is, I hope that some handsome fellow will spot me and strike up a conversation, and most of time,it happens. Now why yes it does happen,what also happens is that they just "happen" to have girlfriends, coincidence,sure!!
You see this is one of my many issues with being Nubian in the City and wanting to meet a nice chocolate man they all have girlfriends and why wouldn't they? Those same girlfriends were once me, and knew how difficult it was to find one in San Francisco, so they decided to strike why the iron was hot!! And 3yrs down the line, they got the chocolate man, who flirts with other women and occasionally may hook up with one or two of them. But, believe you, me, those formerly "Nubian in the City" single women, will overlook it. Let me say this,im not saying this happens all the time and to clarify: ALL BLACK MEN DO NOT CHEAT NOR DO ALL BLACK WOMEN STAY WITH THESE BLACK MEN BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF BEING ALONE,but I'm not saying it doesn't happen because I've seen it first hand.
I wrote this blog because today while I was looking very cute, a few gentlemen both chocolate and non-chocolate shot me a smile and a hello and tried to start a dollar and fifteen cents conversation. I digress,the one chocolate man that tried to speak was handsome,neatly dressed and well spoken,but I of course knowing the likelihood of him actually been available was pretty slim,so after we finished our brief conversation, where he asked if I could use a friend(in my head I'm thinking, no I have a enough friends I don't need more of those,yes I realise its not the best way to approach a situation) and if he could get my number or the other way around, my answer of course was thank you I'm good. I want you all to know that it wasn't like I was just blowing him off,I had an odd feeling that giving him my number wasn't the best idea. Brief conversation over, I see if I am in correct in my theory of most of the chocolate men being taken. I couldn't resist but to watch him walk away and to where he was walking. And folks, Ladies and Gents sure enough, he walked to a woman walking out of Starbucks and give her a nice little kiss on the lips!! Yep indeed it was quite the lovely day in SFC to Wear Just About "Nada"!
Thanks dears and Come again
"That Black Girl"
Saturday, July 7, 2012
To Weave or Not To Weave, that is the question.
Now you all knew this topic was coming,especially if we are facebook friends. The age old black woman debate, is wearing a weavE just a way for us to be more "white"? Now I, speaking as a woman that has wore some form of weave half of her life, can honestly say I don't know if me wearing weave was about me trying to be more white as much as it was about me trying to live up to the American standards of beautiful.
We all know that if you have the long straight hair, you are more likely to get the door opened for you, offered a helping hand and you know where I'm going with this I'm sure...SMDH! Now I can not tell a lie, I loved swinging my weave around and flipping it and looking like a fly chick( I am most def a fly chick),it just felt so girlie, it made me feel "pretty", and in that comment lies the issue with the TO Weave Or Not TO Weave? I mean dang I can't be cute without weave is that what everything and everyone in the world is telling us(me)? Moving on....
So I have recently decided to no longer wear weaves. I'm not sure how permanent it will be because, I'm not one to lie...I like the wind blowing through my weave!! I do however like the fact that I can scratch(or pat) my hair without a bobbypin, or a sharp objective. I get tired of going out with guys specifically chocolate men, looking at my hair wondering if they should ask the question they eventually do,"Is that all you?" What the hell do you think if you had to ask? Granted weaves are done very well these days and the average person would not be able to spot one. However chocolate men are getting better at spotting them and black women, well we can spot one miles away!! We can't just spot them, we can tell you what type of weave it is: front lace wig(its a wig that can be made to look like your own because of the lace in the front is the color of your scalp), sew-in(those are the one we get done at our girl's house because we aren't trying to spend a whole bunch a money on something our girl can do at her apartment),glued in tracks(tragically this is done far too often in high school before you have friends skilled enough to do the sew-ins) and you got the full crown weaves(now those are the ones that most of those women in that film "Good Hair" had,now us regular nubians don't have it like that yet,so we can't afford it especially with that good Indian Hair). Yes ya'll there are several types of weaves!!
I'll say this, I love the fact that black women stopped hating on females that wear weaves. I remember back in the day when the ponytail(before the drawstring ones,if you all are in your late twenties or early thirties, you know what I'm talking about. The long track of hair that you had to bobbypin around the little thumb of hair on the top of your head.) first started getting rocked people were ok with it, but if you had tracks in your head, everyone always had something to say or gave you a look. I remember when people would ask me about my little side-swiped bang and if it was mine and my response was, you all know..."I bought it so yeah its mine" with a head roll.
The point being of this whole blog entry is this, we don't need to wear weave to make us beautiful no!! But I'll be damned if it doesn't get me a few drinks at old "Otis Lounge" or "Harlem Bar" from some fine looking chocolate brothers. Yes long hair goes a long way in America and not just in America in modern day society. I don't have to ask the question of where did black women get the idea that longer and straighter is better,because we already know that,but instead(though I know the answer,its always good to ask) I'll ask the question who told you,you weren't FLY without the weave?!! Because they are on some other ish..that we don't need to concern ourselves with.
So to answer the question, To Weave or Not To Weave? Well as I've stated before,I decided not to wear weave anymore, or atleast for now. I like the feeling of my hair, my scalp, I like that the wind messes it up, I love that I need to put bobbypins in it to keep in place,I love that I need to us some Jam gel to hold it down and give it some shine!! I suppose I just love the freedom I feel.No, I haven't gone natural, though I think its a very cute look,I could rock it but I'm going to be honest with myself I can't do it right now. I'm just coming off a 6year weave addiction, going natural would be like going cold turkey,I'm strong but I'm not that strong at least not yet!! And yes I did get a perm as well, my first in 6year and hopefully my last,and that's not even from a vanity point of view, that movie "Good Hair" scared the hell out of me,when that lye burnt a hole through that chicken,I decided I would do it one last time after having my hair in weaves for 6-8years.
I'm not trying to say that women who wear weaves don't have self-confidence because that is the farthest thing from the truth,because believe me I know some black sistahs!! And they can rock a mean weave,like its fashion week!!! And truth be told I loved weaves,however bad they may have been for my hair,they are so easy to maintain, wrap it, flat iron it and roll. My choice to no longer wear weaves had nothing to do with what others thought of me, it was about what I thought of myself. I can't say this is true for all black women that wear weaves,but for me,though they were cute to wear, I also wore them because I didn't feel pretty without them. I depended so much on "hair" to make feel like I was enough for others,or I felt if I didn't have the hair,what else could some chocolate man or anyone for that matter really think of me. Yes I'm cute, I have no shame in saying I am,but what else on the surface did I have to draw attention to me? Yes I'm smart and I can probably talk circles around many people,but no one would know that if they didn't like the surface me.
My decision to let go of the weave came with the revelation(one I had to come to by myself but also with the help of the amazing people I have in my life) that the surface me wasn't all I had to offer. I looked at myself long and hard with my front-lace wig on and said to myself when did I starting believing that "hair" was more than me? When did I starting believe what everyone had been saying,not in so many words but in their actions,that I couldn't be beautiful without long hair? And the final revelation: I was tired of breaking out from all that damn hair on my face,I got sensitive skin..smh...I'M TOO FLY TO BE HAVING MY FACE BREAKING OUT FROM SOMEONE ELSE HAIR!!!
Thanks Dears & Please Come Again
"That Black Girl"
We all know that if you have the long straight hair, you are more likely to get the door opened for you, offered a helping hand and you know where I'm going with this I'm sure...SMDH! Now I can not tell a lie, I loved swinging my weave around and flipping it and looking like a fly chick( I am most def a fly chick),it just felt so girlie, it made me feel "pretty", and in that comment lies the issue with the TO Weave Or Not TO Weave? I mean dang I can't be cute without weave is that what everything and everyone in the world is telling us(me)? Moving on....
So I have recently decided to no longer wear weaves. I'm not sure how permanent it will be because, I'm not one to lie...I like the wind blowing through my weave!! I do however like the fact that I can scratch(or pat) my hair without a bobbypin, or a sharp objective. I get tired of going out with guys specifically chocolate men, looking at my hair wondering if they should ask the question they eventually do,"Is that all you?" What the hell do you think if you had to ask? Granted weaves are done very well these days and the average person would not be able to spot one. However chocolate men are getting better at spotting them and black women, well we can spot one miles away!! We can't just spot them, we can tell you what type of weave it is: front lace wig(its a wig that can be made to look like your own because of the lace in the front is the color of your scalp), sew-in(those are the one we get done at our girl's house because we aren't trying to spend a whole bunch a money on something our girl can do at her apartment),glued in tracks(tragically this is done far too often in high school before you have friends skilled enough to do the sew-ins) and you got the full crown weaves(now those are the ones that most of those women in that film "Good Hair" had,now us regular nubians don't have it like that yet,so we can't afford it especially with that good Indian Hair). Yes ya'll there are several types of weaves!!
I'll say this, I love the fact that black women stopped hating on females that wear weaves. I remember back in the day when the ponytail(before the drawstring ones,if you all are in your late twenties or early thirties, you know what I'm talking about. The long track of hair that you had to bobbypin around the little thumb of hair on the top of your head.) first started getting rocked people were ok with it, but if you had tracks in your head, everyone always had something to say or gave you a look. I remember when people would ask me about my little side-swiped bang and if it was mine and my response was, you all know..."I bought it so yeah its mine" with a head roll.
The point being of this whole blog entry is this, we don't need to wear weave to make us beautiful no!! But I'll be damned if it doesn't get me a few drinks at old "Otis Lounge" or "Harlem Bar" from some fine looking chocolate brothers. Yes long hair goes a long way in America and not just in America in modern day society. I don't have to ask the question of where did black women get the idea that longer and straighter is better,because we already know that,but instead(though I know the answer,its always good to ask) I'll ask the question who told you,you weren't FLY without the weave?!! Because they are on some other ish..that we don't need to concern ourselves with.
So to answer the question, To Weave or Not To Weave? Well as I've stated before,I decided not to wear weave anymore, or atleast for now. I like the feeling of my hair, my scalp, I like that the wind messes it up, I love that I need to put bobbypins in it to keep in place,I love that I need to us some Jam gel to hold it down and give it some shine!! I suppose I just love the freedom I feel.No, I haven't gone natural, though I think its a very cute look,I could rock it but I'm going to be honest with myself I can't do it right now. I'm just coming off a 6year weave addiction, going natural would be like going cold turkey,I'm strong but I'm not that strong at least not yet!! And yes I did get a perm as well, my first in 6year and hopefully my last,and that's not even from a vanity point of view, that movie "Good Hair" scared the hell out of me,when that lye burnt a hole through that chicken,I decided I would do it one last time after having my hair in weaves for 6-8years.
I'm not trying to say that women who wear weaves don't have self-confidence because that is the farthest thing from the truth,because believe me I know some black sistahs!! And they can rock a mean weave,like its fashion week!!! And truth be told I loved weaves,however bad they may have been for my hair,they are so easy to maintain, wrap it, flat iron it and roll. My choice to no longer wear weaves had nothing to do with what others thought of me, it was about what I thought of myself. I can't say this is true for all black women that wear weaves,but for me,though they were cute to wear, I also wore them because I didn't feel pretty without them. I depended so much on "hair" to make feel like I was enough for others,or I felt if I didn't have the hair,what else could some chocolate man or anyone for that matter really think of me. Yes I'm cute, I have no shame in saying I am,but what else on the surface did I have to draw attention to me? Yes I'm smart and I can probably talk circles around many people,but no one would know that if they didn't like the surface me.
My decision to let go of the weave came with the revelation(one I had to come to by myself but also with the help of the amazing people I have in my life) that the surface me wasn't all I had to offer. I looked at myself long and hard with my front-lace wig on and said to myself when did I starting believing that "hair" was more than me? When did I starting believe what everyone had been saying,not in so many words but in their actions,that I couldn't be beautiful without long hair? And the final revelation: I was tired of breaking out from all that damn hair on my face,I got sensitive skin..smh...I'M TOO FLY TO BE HAVING MY FACE BREAKING OUT FROM SOMEONE ELSE HAIR!!!
Thanks Dears & Please Come Again
"That Black Girl"
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